Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize