it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
