Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Randomize
