I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
meet me or not, i'm out of control
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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