I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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