God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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