Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
