Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
