He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
