I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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