i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
