But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Holy shit dude........stairs
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
