is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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