the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
