Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
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I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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