Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
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