My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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