Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
