do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
