i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
