I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
