dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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