playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
