OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He? As in you personified your dick?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
