she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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