I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
