did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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