Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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