In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
