respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
