Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
