i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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