Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
