there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize