They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
