Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize