Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
