Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
