If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
