What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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