is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
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she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
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It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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