Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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