we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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