areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
