Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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