Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
