life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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