So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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