like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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