i think my mom watched the whole time
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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