No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize