Texts From Last Night

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  (812): View more from Indiana

  If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.

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  (812): If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message. http://tfl.nu/nzcw
  Replies (31) Good night (5583) Bad night (976)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?

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  (207): do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam? http://tfl.nu/5qkv
  Replies (31) Good night (945) Bad night (5486)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet

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  (303): Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet http://tfl.nu/rdc9
  Replies (17) Good night (937) Bad night (2683)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?

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  (614): i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy? http://tfl.nu/94d5
  Replies (47) Good night (1173) Bad night (6698)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life

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  (248): after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life http://tfl.nu/k9mo
  Replies (16) Good night (4673) Bad night (1383)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.

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  (401): I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver. http://tfl.nu/132c
  Replies (21) Good night (6187) Bad night (1413)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"

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  (613): She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo" http://tfl.nu/ucwd
  Replies (8) Good night (3254) Bad night (930)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.

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  (414): I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before. http://tfl.nu/ok9g
  Replies (4) Good night (1100) Bad night (2053)
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  (315): View more from New York

  mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"

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  (315): mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!" http://tfl.nu/d3gl
  Replies (22) Good night (5187) Bad night (1707)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.

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  (709): got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets. http://tfl.nu/3ghg
  Replies (2) Good night (1574) Bad night (739)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.

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  (917): He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman. http://tfl.nu/emjq
  Replies (5) Good night (2837) Bad night (800)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend

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  (706): Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend http://tfl.nu/biar
  Replies (5) Good night (1812) Bad night (686)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.

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  (516): I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers. http://tfl.nu/n7z5
  Replies (3) Good night (770) Bad night (657)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP

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  (306): you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP http://tfl.nu/0h74
  Replies (0) Good night (447) Bad night (323)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie

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  (734): I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie http://tfl.nu/fo58
  Replies (0) Good night (569) Bad night (393)

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