hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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