Texts From Last Night

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  (626): View more from California

  What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?

  (1-626): View more from California

  You have mice?

  (626): View more from California

  no why?

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  (626): What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans? (1-626): You have mice? (626): no why? http://tfl.nu/7zgo
  Replies (15) Good night (3712) Bad night (866)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.

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  (860): i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards. http://tfl.nu/0s8j
  Replies (24) Good night (808) Bad night (6750)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.

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  (913): No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands. http://tfl.nu/4dof
  Replies (7) Good night (1064) Bad night (3987)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  This kid is drunk.

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.

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  (240): This kid is drunk. (410): I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted. http://tfl.nu/8aqa
  Replies (6) Good night (7956) Bad night (925)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.

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  (508): we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos. http://tfl.nu/o4i1
  Replies (25) Good night (3330) Bad night (939)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  Oh shit. There are penis maracas

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  (434): Oh shit. There are penis maracas http://tfl.nu/sti5
  Replies (4) Good night (1762) Bad night (698)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room

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  (907): Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room http://tfl.nu/45bd
  Replies (11) Good night (903) Bad night (1700)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart

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  (605): its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart http://tfl.nu/w4xp
  Replies (7) Good night (1964) Bad night (711)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!

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  (302): I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me! http://tfl.nu/y8cp
  Replies (5) Good night (1566) Bad night (478)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?

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  (412): I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood? http://tfl.nu/mv3m
  Replies (12) Good night (919) Bad night (730)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group

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  (708): you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group http://tfl.nu/bihz
  Replies (12) Good night (1387) Bad night (565)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!

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  (724): If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF! http://tfl.nu/xzr6
  Replies (13) Good night (1522) Bad night (817)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.

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  (440): Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great. http://tfl.nu/fk00
  Replies (15) Good night (384) Bad night (656)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?

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  (480): Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night? http://tfl.nu/lw86
  Replies (7) Good night (489) Bad night (823)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus

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  (412): Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus http://tfl.nu/j3t9
  Replies (3) Good night (544) Bad night (238)

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