the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
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The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
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I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.