i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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