the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
