Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Sorry my hands just texted you
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
