mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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