Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
