I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
